Category Archives: Pug Punditry

Yanny woof woof! Laurel woof! woof!

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You can see I take no pleasure in this viral auditory phenomenon. Yanny? Laurel? WTF.

We canines know that humes have fairly deficient hearing (as well as olfactory) abilities, so their fascination with such anomalies doesn’t surprise us.

My hume became mildly interested in the viral controversy when she saw a FB post on her phone. So, at first she heard “Yanny” repeatedly. Then, in a nod to her proclivity for scientific inquiry, she went to her trusty HP Chromebook to see how it sounded there. Lo and behold! It was “Laurel,” plain and simple. She again checked her phone and it had become Laurel there as well. And remained so.

Various scientists and audiologists and pundits pontificated to no definitive conclusion.

According to Yahoo.com, the audio clip was captured by a teenager who was listening to the playback of a professional pronouncer’s voice over her laptop speakers, then posted the weirdness to Instagram, Reddit, and the virus was born.

Marc Tinkler, president and CTO of Vocabulary.com, says that tinny speakers, like the ones on TV sets and laptops, emphasize higher frequencies, so people sometimes hear “Yanny.” Older people, who have begun losing some of the higher frequencies in their hearing, are more likely to hear “Laurel.”

As noted, my hume, who is an elder, heard Yanny on her phone and then Laurel on her laptop, then Laurel on her phone. Was her ear being trained?

Our pups are born deaf and cannot hear until they are 21 days old, according to an article by Debra Meno on Puppy Playground (you know, a Web site). When their hearing is fully developed, they can hear four times the distance of a human with normal hearing.  We also can hear higher pitched sounds and can detect a frequency range of 67-45,000 Hz, compared to a human range of 64-23,000 Hz. And we have 18 muscles in our ears allowing them to move in the direction of the sound. But, I digress. Our awesomeness never fails to fascinate me.

For my part, I believe it is a conspiracy, as some have suggested–not to distract from either the “fake” and/or abhorrent real news–but to allow humes who possess the requisite  technology (Pew Research Center says 91% of adults in the United States have cell phones) to interact on a topic that isn’t politically, socially or culturally divisive.

So far, celebrities, sports teams and all the men and women in the street are partaking of the mystery and sharing their results with the closest hume at hand. What a wonderful distraction! Almost…. I said almost…. makes me wish I had a cell phone.

P.S. In case you wondered, it’s really saying “MilkBone.”

P.P.S. That’s a tater tot in my mouth, not a Hannibal Lecter disguise.

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Free the pugs! Free all pets!

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There was quite an interesting post on FB recently by two Rutgers law professors, Gary L. Francione and Anna E. Charlton, that has stimulated my grey matter to no end. (See how somber and thoughtful I look in my picture.) The piece was called “The case against pets,” and its subhead–“A morally just world would have no pets, no aquaria, no zoos. No fields of sheep, no barns of cows. That’s true animal rights.”

Basically, the argument is that humes consider animals property and therefore, as slaves, with whatever nasty connotations that conjures up. I would say this is what seems to be the case. Now, I don’t recall the professors acknowledging any traditions countermanding this, but the King James version of Genesis does say that after God created Adam and Eve, he said, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

I guess the real key is what dominion means. Many theologians agree there is a component of stewardship implied. That means my hume must care for me responsibly: clean my nose folds, my ears and my elevated butthole (can’t reach it myself). The only way I could see disallowing domestication of animals and freeing them all, would be if there were no humes around. And that would spell disaster for toy dogs such as me and my ilk. (“Dog eat dog.”)  For better or worse, we have a symbiotic relationship with the two-leggers and besides, my credit is bad and I couldn’t get a bag of chicken tenderloins on my looks alone….

 

 

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Never say “Never”

I have done it. Finally. Heretofore I would turn up my nose (such as it is) at any “treat” other than cheese, meat, fish, chicken or a Dentastyx. And I am nearly 10 years in human terms. In recent weeks, however, my mistress hume has dangled vanilla ice cream and yellow cake in front of me. I know she knows she shouldn’t, but she has definitely bought into the current ethos that canines, especially pugs, are sentient, feeling beings. Of course, we always have been and some humes of higher intellect have known this, but now it has become de rigueur for the masses… .

At any rate, the ice cream and the cake were so delightful I could not restrain myself. I slurped and nearly gagged on their scrumptiousness. Every morsel I consumed like a starving beast. Now what? I’ve opened the proverbial Pandora’s box or can of worms or whatever, and there’s no going back. There is only one foreseeable outcome: She and I will grow old and fat–but happy–together. Word.

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Catching up

Since last I posted, I have aged. My whiskered pug mug is going grey and I am a little paunchier. But my mind–when not fried by the searing Florida sun–is still sharp and shows no signs of plaque formation.

We (hume and I) have suffered the slings and arrows of sling-shooters and archers, and are holding up as best as can be expected. Hume is always in the throes of self-doubt, superstition and dissatisfaction with recent gainful employment, but what matters that to me? My chicken tenderloins appear with regularity and I still sleep in her bed. So, what else is new?

 

 

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Embed solar panels in roads

I think they should make cars that use solar power generated by solar strips on the roads. We have miles and miles of highways and a solar strip embedded in the roadway could somehow transmit its energy to a device underneath a car and power it. That’s it. So you smart MIT types, get busy!

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When I get them, I’ll post them

This is for any ideas I get….

Here’s one: Whenever there is new construction in the Sunshine State, it must be AT LEAST 75% solar powered… For heaven’s sake, Florida is so sunny it’s the skin cancer capital of the world…

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